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| he makes me feel better |
It could be worse. I have tons to be thankful for. No really, I got this.
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Blows
The blows just keep on coming. We had a bunch of appointments in Seattle the past three days and each one seemed to be pretty depressing. Edward had xray's of his hips and feet. We met with a new orthopedic doctor, Dr. Mosca, who is a foot expert, and he talked with us about his opinion on his feet and hips. In short, Edward's feet have kinda broken down and the bones are not in the right place and are not formed correctly. He also said that surgery on his hips might not be an option because they are extremely tight. Then we had an appointment with our cranio-facial doc and he was concerned Edward's weight. He is still only 9.12 lbs. Of course we had pt and ot appointments, then our last appointment was with Dr. Song. He thinks that Edward needs an mri done of his spine and hips. (tentatively scheduled for the end of December.) The story with his hips are that we need to make sure that he has an adequate socket or even a socket to begin with. (They formed out of socket at 9 weeks gestation.) So, if his hips were able to move down, they would have a place to go. Does that make sense? And as you know, his spine is progressively getting worse. If it continues like this, then we will need to do bracing right away. SUCK. All this is SUCK. I am seriously trying to truck along with all of these blows. I just want Edward to be ok. I just want him to not have to deal with this stuff. Lord, just let one thing be perfect for Edward. I know God's will is perfect, but I just want to suggest a couple things He could fix that could make His will even MORE perfect. :)
In the end, if you would like to pray, which would be wonderful, you could pray that his spine gets better, his feet surgery goes perfectly, that his hips will be able to go into his sockets that are, Lord willingly, there, and that I am able to keep my fake "everything is great" smile plastered on.
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Tears for you sweet momma. Love him how he is, which I know you do. His weight is fine. Trust me on this. Know how much he needs and do your best. Next, decide what is most important right now for him medically and go one step at a time. He is still so young. I chose to not assault Kimber with any more intervention than absolutely necessary. Some choose to do everything they can right away. Set your own pace. Give yourself time to reflect and pray and digest the doctors recommendations then you will know how to go forward. Peace to you. Enjoy Christmas and your family. Start with fresh hope for the new year!
ReplyDeleteHis SOUL is perfect, and you don't have to keep a fake smile on. Really - you don't. I don't think there is anything more difficult for a parent than watching their child suffer. We will pray for healing for Edward's little body, and for strength and grace for you and Adam. hugs.
ReplyDeleteYou don't have to keep the fake smile. Smile when it comes naturally, honestly, joyously. Everything is not fine. It's not 'normal' or ok to have to put a baby though all this. But unfortunately it has to be to give him the best shot at a normal life. You're dealing with a lot of really heavy things. Trying to make the best medical decisions you can for Edward while trying to balance his overall well-being, and manage a household and take care of another child and be a wife. That's not easy. But you can do this. Lean on your supports. Cry if you need to. Get it out and then move on.
ReplyDeleteI will keep you in my thoughts and I hope you have a beautiful Christmas. Hoping the new year brings better news.
Edward, as always, is darling.