Wednesday, June 1, 2011


On Tuesday I had some sort of encouraging news. Edward got recast and the doctor seemed pretty impressed by his progress! He said that in a couple of weeks, two more casts, he can do the tendon release in Edward's ankles. He did say that that is a procedure that can be done in office, but because Edward's feet are pretty severe that he will want to do it in the operating room under anesthesia. That scares me because kids with FSS can have a fatal reaction to anesthesia. So, Lord willing he won't have any reaction and his feet will respond perfectly to the tendon release and will go into place. Please pray!

May 18 before casting 
May 31 after 2 casts
I can't help but feel bad whenever I go out in public. It just kills me whenever I see a normal moving baby.

This past week, I have felt very humbled. I have read and have been told of other's story. It could be soo much worse. I couldn't imagine not having Edward and yet there are soo many people who go through pregnancy and then loose their baby. We spent Mothers day at Childrens Hospital because Edward had a bad stomach virus.  During the stay I was talking to our nurse at Children's and asked her what was the worse part of working there. She said the worst was when a family comes in with their child who is seemingly perfectly healthy, but complains of small pain, and then dies months later from cancer. I could not imagine. I often think of that when I start to get emotional. I actually came across a quote the other day that really struck a chord with me. "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle." -Plato

So, my husband graduates from dental school this weekend and we are moving in June. I should be super excited about all of this but I am kinda not. I feel unsettled by it all. I feel like my life is in shambles. I need to organize and pack, but I don't know where to start. I like being here where I know my baby will be well taken care of. I will love being near family, but, I don't know, I just worry about my baby. Plus, we can't seem to find a place to live.


  1. Janessa... There really are no words for how I feel about your situation. You are so strong for Edward. I cant even imagine how I would deal with this in my life and I know you are a stronger person than me. I am following your story and praying for you and Adam daily.You are such a wonderful mom. :)

  2. That IS good progress with 2 casts! Hooray! But, I can hear your heart breaking in this post, J. Just because others are fighting other battles, it doesn't mean yours is easy. Yours is a tough, tough road right now, and it's ok to feel that way. The stress in your life is at an all-time-high right now. Edward, casts, broken bones and everything else, graduation, a move, a change in job, a change in city - which means a change in hospitals, doctors, etc etc ... it's SO much right now. It's ok to feel the way you're feeling ... anyone would, and I think you are handling it with a strength and grace that I truly admire.