I am much better now. Life gets overwhelming, at times, but nothing worth having is easy. Jesus loves me and won't give me more then I can handle. Even though, many times last week I told God enough!
The book I am reading is pretty good. It makes me realize how important prayer is and how it can make a difference. I was going through a stage, weeks back, about not knowing the purpose of prayer. My rationale was, since God is omnipotent then what is the point? My prayers don't matter. For example, I prayed and prayed and prayed when I was pregnant with Edward and God didn't change the outcome. God has His will and knows what is best for us, right? So, no matter how hard I prayed, He still did what He wanted. I don't know. Prayer is confusing. So many pastors tell you how to pray. Is there a specific way to pray that I am not getting? But, also, in the Bible it says that sometimes we don't know how to pray and that the Holy Spirit will intervene for us and ask what we cannot."In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans." Romans 8:26 This is a verse that helped me when pregnant. This is why I prayed and prayed. "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" Philippians 4:6-7. Don't get me wrong here. I believe in prayer. It says in the Bible that prayers are powerful and effective and that God hears all prayers. "And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it" John 14:13-14. I believe that the words in the Bible are true. I guess my thing was, if God's will be done and He knows what is best for us, then why should I ask for the things that I think I want?
P.s. Happy SIX months to my sweet Edward! (seems like years ago..)